Yesterday while sitting on the porch I was holding a cup of tea with not much intention to drink it . The cup had been there for over ten minutes ,mostly to warm the hands as the weather was cold & damp . Along with experiencing the pre monsoon showers and the 10° drop in temperature, watching the rain drops fall on the road and cover it in a darker shade of grey a thought crossed my mind.. wait.. not crossed it stayed there for a while.

How different things had been when we were kids. I don’t mean to talk philosophically here and lay down a column wise distinction of then and now.The need to be accepted as a part of the popular group seemed like our only aim in life. We disrespected teachers because supposedly it was ‘cool’. We ate like cool kids, walked like them , talked like them. Their ideologies became ours .. we began to have same point of views towards things, simply for acceptance.

If something embarrassing happened to us in school or at a party .. or a conversation with our middle school crush didn’t work out well, we would refuse to get out of our room.. forget going to school in such scenarios. A pimple would be a big deal.. taking pizza in our tiffins would make us so proud and if by chance it had roti sabzi, half of us didn’t even want to open it in front of everyone , no matter what the level of hunger was. Many of us would refuse to raise our hands in class if we didn’t understand a sum of trigonometry.. just because it would make us look stupid.. and yes we ran away from getting humiliated publicly.

If we look at each day , it seems similar to the previous one but when we look back to those days , we see that a long distance has been covered by us. By passing time and maturing minds , realization struck us hard. Being accepted by others means nothing. The only acceptance you should seek is your own because that is on the apex . Until you do not take yourself with all the flaws and the imperfections , no one else will. We sure tried to imitate them to the highest extent and often failed at understanding that they had very cleanly accepted their flaws and they were proud of them. No, they weren’t perfect kids.. or had the perfect bodies. They were proud individuals.. it was not what they did that made them cool but the confidence they had within themselves.

Once the thought terminated , i realized that half cup of tea still remained .. but it was cold .. just like our fragile hearts.

 

i wish i understood this sooner , maybe childhood would have been a better place.

 

xx

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